An Open Letter to Babs Boxer from La Canada-Flintridge (satire)
Read here first.
By Anita-Susan-Xenophobe
Dear Babs:
I hope you don’t mind me calling you by your nickname, but I feel as if I actually know you, plus once I actually got mugged by reality once, so I think I qualify as a liberal.
I’m writing to ask you to please tell the Pasadena Branch of the Democratic Party to stay out of our local city council election here in La Canada-Flintridge.
Isn’t the whole point of the Democratic Party to be politically correct? Their website says that their mission is for diversity and “equality of outcome.” (Well, then, why not elect a Tea Party Republican?)
That’s why I am shocked that the Democratic Party in Pasadena has decided to endorse our candidates, and to do so without even vetting them (Maybe you don’t know where La Canada-Flintridge is? [It’s just west of the horse dung pile at Rose Bowl Riders in Hahamonga Park, Pasadena]. Maybe they only endorse non-incumbents? Playing it risky?)
Right now, we La Canada Flintridgians have enough on our plate, what with all the effluent ad horrendum pouring out of our substandard leach fields and septic systems here in affluent La Canada-Flintridge as a result of the recent rain deluge, which totally freaked out my friends and relatives around the globe (in Bangladesh), and people telling us when and where to evacuate in the event of effluent inundation here in affluent La Canada-Flintridge (and please don’t tell Pasadenans we were advised to evacuate to Pasadena!). Now we have to deal with outsiders horning in on our local city council election, scheduled for March 8 (afterall, “8 is for hate”). (And please don’t mention that all that perchlorate in the Raymond Basin, which was ruled out as coming from JPL by scientists and is of mysterious origin, may seriously be coming from subterranean effluent from La Canada!!!).
We have seven candidates for the three seats open on our City Council. They are:
Don Voss, incumbent
Laura Olhasso, incumbent
Mike Davitt (current planning commissioner)
James K. Hill (former planning commissioner)
Jacqueline Harris, R.N. (private citizen)
Robert Richter (private citizen)
Charles Kamar (private citizen)
The City Council is ostentatiously “No-Labels.” http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/12/17/AR2010121704195.html Also, our town, La Cañada Flintridge, is not Pasadena. Despite this, last week, the Pasadena chapter of the Democratic Party, endorsed two candidates in our election.
And guess who(m) [sic] they endorsed? They endorsed Charlie Kamar (private citizen), a local resident and business owner of the Union 76 station and public school booster, who believes in customer service in government? Yes!
They endorsed Robert Richter (private citizen), a dedicated anti-sewer, [ anti-pollution, Pro-Hubert Humphrey Democratic Party activist and documentary film maker] who says that City Hall should be more unresponsive to building out its sewer system? Yes! http://richtervideos.com/about/
They endorsed any private citizens running in this local election on platforms about making local government more unresponsive (to building a sewer system).
This is not by chance!
As reported in the Valley Overflow newspaper (12-22-10 “Dem Party backs two in council race”), the Pasadena Democratic Party endorsed the two non-incumbents. Valley Overflow staff writer Joe Piasecki spewed out that “Democratic activists with the Pasadena-based Democratic Progressive Environmental Arts Party, an umbrella political action committee for Democratic organizations statewide, have wasted no time in demonizing three local incumbent candidates — even before any of them had met with their group to explain their views.”
The Valley Overflow reported that one of the non-endorsees (incumbent Olhasso) equivocally supported the non-endorsement.
Tell us, Babs, do we really need Pasadena Democratinoids telling us La Cañada Flintridgians how to vote? Some of those outsiders still put the hyphen in our town’s (snobby) name! Some of them still think JPL is in Pasadena! (But pleeeeeease keep the secret that owners of equestrian homes in La Canada-Flintridge still board their horses at Rose Bowl Riders in Hahamonga Park in Pasadena).
Please, Babs, please save us from the Pasadena Democratinoids! (Please also make the Democratinoids repeal their past endorsements of Anthony Portantino and Carol Liu for State Legislature).
Very Sincerely,
Anita and Miss Babs
PS. With the deluge, the global warming in the zip code 91011 isn’t as bad as Bill Patzert at JPL says it is.
PPS. Miss Babs is also the name of my dog.
Anita-Susan-Xenophobe – blogger, La Canada-Flintridge
ANITA SUSAN XENOPHOBE is a longtime La Cañada Flintridge resident and an professional with offices in ***PASADENA***.